When Did We Grow Up?

I don’t even really know why I’m writing this right now.  But I just felt like I needed to.  There are a number of different ways I could go with this, given the title, but I’ll just write on the one that’s most immediate in my mind.

When we were children, we didn’t understand seasons (“I want what I want how I want it and NOW!, or YOU can’t be my friend anymore!”…at least not for another 15 minutes, until I forget you aren’t my friend anymore” or “What do you mean I can’t go play in the snow in these sandals…I’ll put my COAT on!”) and humility (“If you’ll sit and laugh at me, I’ll put on a show you’ll want to write home about until mom or dad tells me to stop “showin’ out” and sit down somewhere”); or even jealousy (it’s called SHARING…we all learn that in kindergarten;  “If you have it and I want it, if I wait long enough, I’ll either get to play with it when you’re done or I’ll eventually get my own”) and scarcity (“…what the heck is THAT??!?”).

At some point in our development, these and other things – either positive or negative in perspective – began to “mold” our minds.  [You do realize that people DIE from “mold”, right?  I know it’s a different situation, but feel me…]  At some point we learned how to respect and respond to the various “seasons” in our lives, but also used “timing” as a crutch by procrastinating (“Now’s not the time…I’ll do it later”).  We also grasped the concept of humility by learning not to “hog” all the attention and not be pompous or arrogant (most of us anyway), but also used THAT as a crutch in shrinking back and playing small (“What will people think if I really step out there and do what I’m passionate about?  Will it be accepted?  Will it be in line with what so many already know about me?  What if the new, “real” me doesn’t fit their “mold” of who or what I’ve been to them up to this point?…there’s that word again).

I believe it’s important for us to recognize and acknowledge that there IS such a thing as “balance”…and it’s not as far off or elusive as many of us think it is.  It doesn’t require precision or much time contemplating about how much is “enough” or “too much”.  When we have to think about these things, it’s already out of balance.

Children don’t think “Geez…I’ve been on this playground for about 40 minutes now, I should call it quits.”  When they’re tired, they simply stop.  Likewise, parents of infants can vouch that their baby is probably not thinking “Hmmm…3 4-ounce bottles already, better slow up before we run out of formula.”  Not likely.  When s/he’s hungry, s/he’s hungry…where the heck is the damn bottle?  Conversely, when s/he is done eating, you’re not getting that nipple into his/her mouth.  These aren’t careful, strategic decisions…we are born with internal, automatic sensors that keep us in balance.  When did we learn how to stifle ourselves?

When you’re spending too much time at the office or wherever, you know DAMNED WELL you need to take yo’ ass home!  But you stay because of pressure from SOMEwhere (1) work – “this project needs to be done by this certain date/time”, 2) home – “that (wo)man is driving me crazy at home…let me stay here just a couple more hours”, etc.), 3) finances – “I can use the extra hours on this next paycheck…”.  When you’re eating or drinking too much, your body signaled to you LONG ago that it was time to quit (“I really don’t need the rest of this linguini, but I paid $XX for this meal, and it won’t taste the same tomorrow!” or “Nobody makes this drink the same, and I don’t know when I’ll get to come back here”).  When you’re not sharing enough time with the people you care about, you feel it…you KNOW (by intuition) that that person or those persons need to hear from you, because you’re THINKING about calling them or going to spend time with them, but for whatever reason you rationalize yourself out of the magic of those precious moments.  How many of us are STILL living with the regrets of not having shared more time with people who are no longer in our lives…either because they transitioned back into eternity OR because our pride and the need to have “our way” transitioned them out of our lives because we didn’t have time for them, so they moved on…without us?

At some point, by some magical age “default”, we get to label ourselves “grown” or “adult”…usually 18, 21, or 25, depending on what it is we’re supposed to be “grown” enough to do.  I propose that this process of “becoming” is never done.  Sure, we’re old enough to vote, rent cars, or purchase property, but are we BALANCED in our ways?

When do we outgrow tantrums and the need to “get our way”?  When are we constantly aware of the transition and adjustment of the seasons of our lives?  When are we officially interdependents, rather than dependents or independents?  When have we “gotten it”?

I could conclude any number of ways on this, but none of them would be right…and none of them would be wrong either.  These are merely questions/observations.  The religious person will want to leave a battery of scriptures to force a definite conclusion.  The spiritual person will merely reflect, go within, and respond/act accordingly, allowing each reader to come to his/her own way…as s/he will understand that our Divine Wisdom is FULLY capable of leading us to where we’re supposed to be.

Again, these are mere thoughts.  I warned you at the beginning that I didn’t know why I was writing…SELAH.

About Expressions

Me just being me...in joy, frustration, grief, anger, love, and ignance--and there will be PLENTY of ignance. These are my personal and EVOLVING thoughts. I emphasize "EVOLVING" because I don't apologize for any uncomfortable or unsettling entries, as they represent where I was at the time of the entry. Proud to be an ever growing, developing, and becoming human being...and I'm honored to have you join me on the journey. Thanks for stopping by! View all posts by Expressions

2 responses to “When Did We Grow Up?

  • D'mitri Sobol

    Okay, so this is like the previous post, entitled ‘Seasons,’ but only on steroids. Lol Very appropriate, given Lance Armstrong’s very recent confession on Oprah. But I digress… Good writing. However, you promised blood and gore in your first post. Well, not in those words, but that was my interpretation, and I’m sticking to it. Now, I can see you are venturing to the dark side, but it is ever so carefully. Like the ancient Romans, we want the “bread and show.” I got the bread. I even got a movie trailer. Now I wanna see the freaking movie! Lol I’m awed. Now I wanna be shocked! … But, of course, my attention span is only 5 minutes, so I get it. (Breathe in… Breathe out…) SELAH…

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